The sneaker man

I bought a pair of sneakers today. No, not the Converses. And all because this nice guy who works in the store walked up to me and said, 'Hello Ma'am, how are you doing today? Do you need anything?' Suddenly, I got this rush of warm tingling sensations, and my brain lit up and said, I wanna buy sneakers! Yes, good customer service really does work.

:-/

It's a good thing we have noses, otherwise our glasses would slip right off our faces.

Post with the most links

Something woke me up at 5 am. Or rather, lack of something. I felt like I was dying of thirst. Lesson: never eat something salty before going to bed.

So I took a spin around the web to see what people are up to these days. Like, what's happening?!
And here's what I came up with:

This Sunday is Lag Baomer, and therefore there will be a parade in Crown Heights, which happens only when Lag Baomer falls on a Sunday. It is being called The Great Parade. I googled it. Exhibit A: It is not only for Lubavitchers. All the big Jewish news websites know about it, and I assume there will be thousands of people there. There will also be a concert before the parade. They even have their very own twitter account! Exhibit B: So that is one cool exciting event coming up that everyone should attend. The Rebbe was very big on the Lag Baomer parade. It is an event that creates unity and achdus among Jews.

Another thing I came across on my travails on the web was a certain Iceland volcano. It has a name. Thumbs up to those who can pronounce it. It is called the Eyjafjallajokull volcano. According to Wiki, it is even harder to pronounce then I thought. Since I have a very short attention span, (I wouldn't go so far as to say I have ADD, that's for sissys) I couldn't read all the stuff I found on it. After all, it is just a volcano that erupted. What significance does it have to me?



According to this article on Collive, perhaps plenty. So the question remains: can a volcano bring Moshiach?

Can you blame me when my first reaction to reading that was skepticism? Ok, so I am a scoffer. Does that mean I can't get on the cloud when it comes to pick us up? I hope not. Oh, I believe in Moshiach. But I'm not so sure a volcano is a sign that it is here. OR that it is "G-d's reply to the passage of health care bill".

I read the article. The first thing that caught my eye was: The Moshiach campaign. That name reminded me of the "Tznius campaign" which, if some of you recall, is another reason why I was skeptical.

But then, who am I to say that a volcano is not the start of the Geulah? G-d works in mysterious ways, and has many ways to bring things about. If He wants to use a volcano, so be it. Am I going to be the one on the front lines saying, I knew it all along!? Probably not. But like one of the Rabeim said, all that matters is that Moshiach should come already. It doesn't matter who it is or how it comes.

Ok that is all for tonight folks. If you like what you saw, please leave feedback and maybe I will post again.

Until next time, on the Altie-Reviews. (Pending copyright.)

Why I can't stand people

There are some people who are socially retarded. Like, literally. They don't know what is appropriate to say to people in conversation, or how to say it. Some people are socially awkward. They'd rather be alone, they don't like company, and get flustered when placed in social situations. And some people are just anti social. Know how to do it, have done it before, but would rather not have to.

I'm in the last group. I don't like big gatherings. I don't like invasions of my privacy. So when lots and lots of girls converged on my house for my sister's birthday party, I stayed in my room.

1 in the morning. The house is finally quiet, everyone is asleep. I sit on the couch in pajamas, reading a book. Then I hear the door opening, wondering who could be coming in this late at night. It is one of our guests. We sit and talk. I am pleasantly surprised. Not only am I not wishing she will leave me alone and go to bed, I am actually enjoying our conversation. She is smart and nice and loves to laugh, and it's contagious. It's a pleasant conversation and I am sorry it had to end, but it was getting late.

I don't like people, but I can make an exception now and then.

My birthday wish

So as someone pointed out, my birthday is coming up. When I was in 1st grade, my teacher had a tradition that on your birthday, you got to stand up on a chair in front of the class and make a birthday wish. We were all so holy (or guilt ridden, or peer pressured) that we all wished for Moshiach.

So of course, this year my birthday wish is for Moshiach, and all that jazz.

BUT I would also like a present. So any of you kind hearted souls out there who enjoy my writing, secretly admire me, are friends with me, wish you could be me, wanna marry me, or anything else, can buy me a present. I would like a car. But I respect the fact that you are poor and that's expensive. So next I would like an itouch. But that is also a bit pricey. I also want a leather jacket. Those run at maybe 100$ for a good one. And a pair of designer sunglasses.

I decided my husband will buy me jewelry and perfume, so my birthday wish which you might be able to afford is.....

Follow the LINK. And yes I really did pick orange. Happy early birthday to me. 3 weeks to go. Start emptying out your piggy/cow banks.

:)

p.s. I will still like you even if you don't buy me a present. But if you need my address to know where to send it... email me.

POST SCRIPT: i decided I want the green or red converses instead. Orange doesn't go with anything.

To the future!

There is nary a day when I have more then one email in my inbox. (I just wanted to use the word nary.) In other words, I hardly get any emails these days. I think it is because I hardly send out emails. Well I do, important ones, about my future. But of the friendly chatty variety, not so much, and therefore I don't get any in return. I guess it is true what they say, what goes around, comes around.

But all that is about to change. Well, maybe not. But my destiny is taking a turn for the better. I have acquired a summer job! My life has meaning again! I will bloom, I will blossom! I will fulfill my purpose!

Okay, well at least I won't be sitting at home all summer wondering what to do.

IY"H, many exciting adventures to come. Onwards!

Aaahh, the left lane

The left lane is a symbol, and elite club. We are talking about highways, of course. The left lane is the fast lane, where only the most prominent and experienced drivers venture. For they, the elite, get quite annoyed when people such as myself enter that Lane.

I drive at leisure. It is but a ride, after all. Focus, concentrate. In my rear view mirror I see a car gaining on me, getting closer and closer. He is trying to hint to me that I am going too slow. He swerves, switches lanes rapidly, almost cutting someone off and causing a collision, then swerves back in front of me. Yes, I got the hint.

It makes me nervous to drive in the left lane. I feel as if all eyes are on me, urging me to go faster. The pressure is on.

So I stick with the middle lane, the safe lane. You can never go wrong with the middle lane. So long, you left lane drivers. And good riddance.

Grave yards

Alas, some people are quite scared of cemeteries, especially at night. But I enjoy them, actually. I find them quite peaceful. The dead, they are essentially asleep, an eternal rest. To me, a grave yard is quiet. A place to think. To reflect. To appreciate being alive. To say your piece, and then leave, back to your own life.

Sisters

The little girl I babysit made cookies in school and each kid brought home two. "One for me, and one for Esther" she said.

Remember when you were little and everything you got you wanted to bring home to share with your sister? And then you grew up and secretly stole all her stuff.

I need a new muse

Where does a writer go to get inspiration?

An artist has many venues. Museums, parks, mountains. All they need is a muse, a scene, an image. Then their hands flow smoothly with brushes and paint, commiting to paper what their eyes see, whether physically or in their minds eye.

A writer, where does he go?

Did you ever get that feeling that things you once found exciting and amusing, fun and interesting, you now find frivolous and immature? Boring? It's like your brain is trying to grow out of its skin. Grow up. Move on to bigger and better things. And yet you haven't found those things yet. But there are people, obsticles in your path. So you find yourself stuck in one place, unable to move, with girlish giggles in the background.

Pesach, and other things

I can't figure out if we are moving in, or moving out. But our house is a mess.

In all the other houses we lived in, we joined the many forces and turned our kitchen into a spaceship for pesach, all foil and everything. Kashered the counter, and covered the oven, used only a stove top, ate boiled chicken, which we called pesach chicken, had barely any food, and that's how we did it. But when we moved to this house, my mother insisted on having a big kitchen. So the tiny kitchen that the house came with was turned into a pesach kitchen! Lucky us. One of the 'special' ones.

The dining room was turned into a gorgeous big kitchen, the living room became the dining room, and a couch was wedged in the sidelines, kind of ties the whole place together if you know what I mean. So now we have the added bonus of being able to start cooking early for pesach. ya, that's IF we are finished cleaing in time. Usually we are still covering everything the night before. Did I mention that we still cover over the big kitchen, cuz technically we are selling all of it. Plus that's where we keep all the pesachdik fruits and vegetables and food.

Well this year, for some miracle, we were all clean and pesachdik by Friday, 3 days before pesach. Yes, a miracle. That, and the fact that my mother wanted to be with my sister when she gave birth, and no one knew when that would be, so better to be prepared... ya it makes no sense to me either.

So my sister, who's the chef in the house, she cooked. Now that we have a full pesach oven, we can make anything! Even roasted chicken! We made french fries in a deep fryer, and sugared nuts. Ya, we didn't starve this year.

Back to the kitchen. It didn't look like a spaceship. It looked like a cross between a cow and a zebra. Too late, I didn't take any pictures. But we covered it in plastic table clothes, every year it's a different print. Whatever was selling. Pretty funky, if you ask me. Pesach in style!

So now that pesach is over we pulled everything down. All the table cloths, brown paper, foil, everything. Take out the microwaves, and the knives, all the round the year cookware. Wow now I remember what the counters look like! And, really, that thing was over there, like forever? For a holiday that lasts 8 days, you really do forget where everything was for the whole year.

But that's it. We are back. I had my bowl of cheerios to commemorate chometz, (we used to do the pizza, but the lines were too long, we got lazy and said, what the heck.)

I went to see my friends right after yom tov was over. I needed candy. I never buy candy. Maybe I really did miss my chometz.

So now pesach is over. Back to school, back to work, back to life. Tis the season of spring and the weather is gorgeous!

So what did you do on chol hamoade? (I didn't do anything, besides see my new niece! But that was always the first question asked whenever I went back to school after pesach. That, and 'how long was your seder?' It seems that the longer it went, the cooler you are. I was never very cool. Out motto is, it's over we did it, let's go to sleep.)

Hello blogger

Hello blogger. I haven't written in awhile. I've been busy with stuff, like seeing my new niece, browsing through the facebook bumper stickers, downloading and watching shows. Very important stuff, as I'm sure you understand.

Once upon a time I was young and idealistic and I had a purpose. Really? No that's not true. In any case, things change. I used to post about G-d, and Judaism, perspective, life, outlook, good stuff, important stuff. I still think about those things, but right now I don't really have anywhere to go. When I figure out my 'jam', I will be sure to share it with you.

You never know where life may take you. Whether it is to the land we call Canada (ay), or Israel, or even to your dinky little home town called the Heights that you have no interest in. You makes plans that fall through. Then you learn to stop planning and leave things up to G-d. See, cuz no matter what G-d is in the picture, He is there at night before I go to sleep, and He is there when I wake up. When I am happy, and when I am sad, when I light candles on erev shabbos, when I daven, whatever I do G-d is right there with me. So it doesn't matter if I don't know what comes next cuz He knows.

See sometimes you start out with a dream, or a purpose. Sometimes you go in with your eyes open wide, and you just KNOW what you want out of life, who you want to be, what you want to accomplish. And sometimes you forget. Yes you can go so far that you can forget where it all began. But don't worry, cuz you can always find your way back, and you will ALWAYS remember.

May we all have another day, another minute, an hour, to live, to remember why we are here, and to accomplish what we set out to do. And if you ever lose your jam, don't worry cuz I know that you will find it again very soon.

Whoever is still counting the Omer, good job and keep it up. Only a few more weeks to go, stay in the running.

Mazal tov!!!!! It's a GIRL!!!!!

My sister (and brother in law, he helped too) had a beautiful gorgeous perfect little baby girl today, the 17'th of Nissan 5770, April 1st (no this is not an April fools day joke) at 12:15 PM. I got to hold her and she is the most perfect baby in the world. And that's not cuz I'm biased.

We thought it was gonna be a boy. We planned to have a sholom zachor and a bris. We also thought she would have the baby before pesach, but alas, G-d had other plans.

She is the first daughter, niece, grandchild, and great grandchild in my family and will be loved by many. And I am officially an aunt!!! I have waited for years for that status!!!

Mazal tov!!!!