Happy Pesach!

Time for some honesty.

I don't like pesach. Really.

I hate having to clean. But more then that I hate the feeling that despite how much you clean, the house is still dirty. And still full of chometz. I'm sure of it. I just know that over pesach those little bits of chometz are sitting in the cracks laughing at us saying 'hehehehe you missed us'. Ya, I hate that part.

I don't much like the spiritual aspect of it either. The whole 'we were freed from Egypt looooong ago, so now let us celebrate by drinking wine, eating bitter herbs and being merry.' Not my style.

I don't mind the matzah though. All good and crunchy. Not bad.

I don't like the family part. Holiday is a time to spend with family, right? Grit your teeth and try to smile and not scream or strangle anybody. By the time it's over there is grape juice on the walls and on white shirts, some broken chairs, many tears spilled, and being holed up in your room with the door locked and barricaded hoping no one will bother you there. Ya that's the worst part about it.

Chol hamoade is not much fun cuz I don't like concerts, or amusement parks, and I am old enough that museum and fares are no longer exciting.

Did I kill your vibe yet?

If pesach is not about the cleaning, and it's not about the food, if it's totally not about the family time, or the fun, if it's not about the customs or the mitzvot, then what is it about?

Well it is definitely not about this. But it does have something to do with this.

I'd like to think that it's about you. As selfish as that sounds. You are not ready for pesach until you have cleared yourself of spiritual chometz too. And that is not as simple as sweeping and vacuuming and scrubbing until it shines. It involved deep soul searching. Did I mention I hate that too?

And it is about sharing. Opening your home to another Jew, going out on mivtzoyim and finding someone to share the story of pesach with, giving of yourself, a bit of sacrifice, influencing someone.

Sometimes it strikes me how so many people in this world are so selfish. Myself included. How many times do you stop to give charity to someone in the street? How many times do you hold the door for someone? Help someone carry their bags. Or even smile at a stranger. Simple acts that take little from you, but give of yourself to another person.

Long ago the Jews were liberated from Egypt. I don't know what that means to me but I hope to find out someday. Pesach may be about everything I hate about it, but it is also about giving. I may not be able to clean, but how hard is it to give?

A kosher and freilechin one to all of you, and make sure not to let my dislikes get you down or enjoy the holiday any less.

A little bit of cleaning

So it's 6 am and I'm up. And no, this time I didn't stay up all night. I don't know what woke me or compelled me to go upstairs and guzzle down a can of soda and a cold glass of water. The feeling of dehydration.

Well I'm up so I might as well put my time to good use. I already checked out shmais, col, ch.info, blogger, gmail, facebook, you name it I've been on it. I was on yahoo checking out celebrities. You wanna know who wore the dress better? I can tell you. Ya I didn't sleep much last night.

My nose is still itching from the dust. Ya you know how they say that dust isn't chometz? They are correct, but before you get to the chometz there is dust to clean. So there I was cleaning my room, which is not so dirty I might add, and sitting on the floor surrounded by bins and piles and piles of stuff. These were my 'boxes.'

Ya well, when you've moved 4 times you don't have shelves in your room and hooks for your stuff. You have accumulated storage. Aaaaah here's my tests from 7th grade. I got a 79% and the teacher told me to 'see her.' She wanted to know why I didn't do better. Lady, I passed and that's good enough for me.

Camp pictures from 4th grade. I laughed cuz there are two of my friends, in a smaller version. Oh boy will they get a kick out of this.

There's my key chain collection. And my art projects. And my chatchkelach that I felt were worthy of saving. The receipt for my first flight. And letters from friends. Birthday cards. Old balloons deflated and folded up. It's kind of nice to go back once in awhile and laugh at yourself, and smile at the little girl you once were. It's reassuring. No, I didn't wake up a teenager. Once I was a little girl where the world was a bright and happy place and the biggest worry was going to school and what to take for snack.

Well for all my efforts, at the bottom of the bin I found a half of a rice cake and pop corn, which my sister pointed out wasn't even chometz, just kitniyot. Ya we're the lenient sort of family. (I mean that in a loose form. Don't be telling G-d we didn't clean or anything.)

Well so far that was the extent of my pesach cleaning. I might help with the upstairs even though I told my mom it's not my house and I'm telling G-d I absolve myself from the chometz this year. Really, if you stay at someone elses house and they have chometz, it's not your sin right? My case in point.

Oh so ya I've been busy lately. Surprised? Me too. I got a kind of sort of job. Sounds a bit iffy to you? It's part time, from 12 to 4. So I get to sleep in and wake up late. Perfect for me. Which reminds me, I gotta get back to sleep. It's seriously too early to be up.

I'm sure you guys have stuff to clean, or cook, or do or buy. So stop reading this and get moving. Happy cleaning!

Pesach, oh pesach, how we love thee

Pesach is coming, as is evident from the numerous ads I see in every Jewish magazine I open to, by the Pomegranate people. They want us to shop at their supermarket this year, advertising wider isles, quick checkout, lots of products and friendly service. They call themselves 'The Pom people'. A cute and catchy name.

I have no idea where we are shopping for our pesach goods this year. It is never up to me. Nope. Despite hearing my sister complain that she "works 50+ hours a week, comes home exhausted, she shouldn't have to clean the house, Altie should do it" etc etc etc, shopping is HER forte, and G-d forbid should I try to help with that. But it gets done somehow, it always gets done. 50 pounds of potatoes, about the same amount of onions, carrots, nuts, well I don't need to tell you, I'm sure you have your own checklist of foods to buy for pesach.

Did I start cleaning yet? Nope. Cuz it always gets done somehow, right? Maybe I'll clean my room, we'll see.

There's a concept called spiritual chometz. In addition to getting rid of your physical chometz, this time of year requires some soul-searching. I have a lot of 'chometz', but no actual time to think about it. Funny, I usually have so much time on my hands, but when it comes to things like davening and learning, suddenly I find myself...busy. Hmmm, how does that work?

Well the weather is turning nice, slowly, despite the rain from yesterday, we switched the clocks and I lost an hour or sleep, and I find myself with more things to do and less free time. Almost like normal people. I say almost because my life still doesn't quite run like most peoples. No I'm not part of the mafia, I'm just on vacation. Like, a long vacation.

Anyway, I have things to do, cleaning is on the list but at the booooottom. So hop to it people. Go clean or shop or something. Heres some free advertisement for a website I'm helping out, silverdesires.com, for all your pesach silver needs. Go check it out.

Tata.

Fight the little birdy with a wave

We were driving back from school (in New Jersey) today. The Rabbi was driving really fast as usual. We went through a toll lane, and as he was trying to switch lanes he cut someone off. (Couldn't figure out if it was on purpose or by accident.) The guy honked at us, then swerved to the other side of our car, honked again, and then (gasp!) he flashed us the finger.

The rabbi smiled, and waved. The guy did it again, Rabbi waved again, and we had a good laugh all the way home.

They say fight fire with fire. I say fight the little birdy with a smile and a wave. That'll throw them off. (Or piss them off, whichever.)

Happy driving!

The spring

It was a spring. A tiny, coiled up piece of metal that we call a spring. It popped up into the air and then I couldn't find it. And believe me, I looked. I bent down and searched the floor. I found dirt and dust and bits of unknown substances, but not that elusive spring. I silently prayed that G-d should help me find it, but that didn't help.

I thought that was it. It came from an electrical appliance that I dropped on the floor. Of course, it came apart, and instead of one big thing I had 3 pieces. And while panickly (not a word, I know) trying to put it back together, that tiny little spring popped out. And that was it, the thing would be unusable. And the worst part was it wasnt mine. I was dreading telling my sister thinking, ok, so she'll be mad. Fine, I'll buy her a new one. I have no idea how much it is but money is money, right?

I was brushing my teeth. I bent over the sink, and there it was. Sitting there, behind the sink. I stared. It was still there. It didnt fall on the floor, it didnt fall into the drain. It was sitting there waiting for me to see it. A tiny, little spring that could have gone anywhere.

And thank G-d I was able to fix the stupid thing and put it back safely in it's place, no harm done.

Symbolic? I think so. Take your own lesson from this story but believe me, after I saw the spring sitting there I told G-d I would do whatever He wants of me. And I think He'll hold me to it.